Scaryduck – master blogger

Quite a dead day at work (stuck answering phones that refuse to ring) so I’m basically hitting my favourite time wasting links (that’ll be B3ta and Scaryduck then).

Quite often B3ta will have me literally LOLing (why is it always when the boss is around too?) and Scaryduck never fails to make me chuckle and snort like a demented um…snorting chuckler.

This almost made me wet myself:

Luckily, there’s a guy from the AA breakdown service nearby and he’s happy to help out as long as it doesn’t disturb his world record chain-smoking attempt.

“It’s the alternator, madam” he says, sprinkling his magic cigarette ash over the engine, which immediately bursts into life, “It’s got a loose connection.”

“We thought so” says mum, “My husband and I have had it off three times on the kitchen table”

The fella looks up, sees three beaming kids sitting in the back seat and collapses with howling laughter. He’s utterly helpless for at least five minutes, and all mum can do it look on disapprovingly.

“WELL! I don’t see what’s so funny about that…”

Boom, and indeed, tish!

God bless t’interweb and all who surf in her…

News from the weekend

I know – it’s Tuesday – I’m late. So sue me.

Was a great weekend though – had my first driving lesson in 22 years seems I’ve not picked up too many bad habits either so should be ok to take my test January time I reckon.

After the lesson, I headed to Harriett’s and babysat while she went shopping (read babysitting as laying on the couch snoozing). Had a bit of dinner then we went out about 9.30 for some beer.

Now, seeing as it was quite late, I was on a mission to drink it seems – in about half an hour I’d drunk 3 pints and was well onto the 4th. Harriett went off into town to meet up with tricia et al while I stayed in the Tudor until it closed, at which point a group of us decided to head into town for an Indian meal. Well, by the time we’d got organised (and stopped getting more beers), the restaurant was closed so it was decided (in blokey-type wisdom) to just carry on drinking.

Somehow in the next hour or so Harriett and me met up again, then got a taxi back to hers (I don’t remember that at all), I do remember walking the babysitter home and realising I was actually, VERY drunk. Got back to the house drank some vodka then crashed out.

First thing I saw in the morning was a glass of vodka beside the bed so in this way I prevented the inevitable hangover (Harriett suffered badly all day bless her).

Got back to my house about 3 Saturday afternoon, had a bath, got changed and went back down the Tudor to meet up with mates and compare notes on what actually happened the previous night. Nobody was out – seems I was the only one not suffering

Went back to Harriett’s about 6 (she was having a firework party) and proceeded to do it all again…this time I ended the night doing shots with John – we were alternating between tequila, ouzo and plum brandy. Weirdly, I woke up the next morning looking at a shot glass of Bailey’s (so I drank it)…this didn’t keep the hangover away though.

I did manage to eat 2 big plates of dinner (thanks Harriett – your Sunday roasts are awesome ) then went home to get a well deserved early night…well, that was the plan. I ended up having a late one in the Tudor again and was EXTREMELY hungover Monday morning – I hate Mondays