Racism…

It’s messed up – this will sound like some kind or racist rant, but…in my defense, it was an act of childish enthusiasm.

Domina pizza obviously supported the 4th July celebrations ‘cos they’re an American franchise. Fair enough – they had balloons outside their shop and everything…no wait – they had ballooons outside their shop.

And so, there was I, had a few beers, and the dare came “Reckon you could run over and pop all those balloons?”

And so I did – got all the ones from the top shelf and a couple from the lower…but it wasn’t enough – I want them all. So I primed a new cigarette, waited for the moment, then ran over and got them all but 7 (I’m back later – I’m not being beaten on this…) before some huge guy came out and hit me! he physically assaulted me for popping a balloon!

So, should I sue the fucker for assault, go back and burst the remaining balloons, call it quits, or, most importantly – ALL THE ABOVE.

Tough huh?

Guy hit me from behind, and he hits like a girl…twat.

Fuck it – I’m taking him for some holiday cash

Oh yeah, the racist bit – he was black, and about a foot taller than me with at leat 30kg on me…funny as fuck though… “Don’t burst my balloons…” oops, my cigarette slipped a few times…

Heh…gotta love weekends

Ya know what I did today?

No? well, let me tell you…I went to Silverstone racetrack – for t’was the Renault World Series (or summat like that) – and didn’t see ONE crash…

Still, was a great day – met up with Kathy et al, watched some very noisy cars going round the track from various corners (we were looking for a crash – see above), some less noisy cars doing similar, then some ‘almost’ street cars doing very, very similar things too – and then, the big one…the Renault F1 car going round the track woo!

And woo! again but wait…on it’s own? they had 2 cars there – why not have a race? bloody French…

What?

Oh, and didn’t get a used tyre either (bloke thing). Was advised that I could get one tomorrow…and maybe some body parts also (OK, he actually said CAR body parts, but it’s my blog damnit, neener neener)

Please disacknowledge the above – I’m drunk, probably sunstroken (wahay! a new word!) and now off to bed.

Arse.

(But it was a great day )

Bored…and hot

So here’s a blatant post straight from B3ta’s QOTW archive:

5 years ago I had a boring admin job whose only redeeming feature was that I worked on a team with 3 lovely young ladies. Abbie sat to my left; she was 21, slim, blond, attractive but a total space cadet and jittery with it. Very jittery, if somebody dropped a file loudly she would flinch noticeably.

Whenever I made the coffee she would always remind me that she only took half a teaspoonful of coffee, what she called “granny coffee” as it was so weak. This one time I accidentally used a whole spoonful so I put more milk in to hide the stronger colour and taste. Abbie didn’t notice.

Now I’m not a bad person, and I liked Abbie, but the mischief switch in my head went and the challenge was on to see how strong I could make her coffee before she noticed. Obviously I had to start low and increase the dosage each time.

A few days later a manager named John caught me in the kitchen counting out 4 spoonfuls of coffee into Abbie’s cup. “What are you doing?” he asked. I didn’t know he was stood behind me so I was a bit flustered and just fessed up, “I’m seeing how much I can drug Abbie with coffee, you see…if you use more milk it masks the colour and taste…” I trailed off nervously.

The manager took a step closer, looked at the cup, looked at me again and said without changing facial expression, “Well put some more in then”. Well thank fuck for the Y Chromosome! If it had been a female manager I would have been toast.

It had to stop a few days later, I was up to 5 spoonfuls which to put in context is a 1000% increase in dosage. Abbie was noticeably twitchier. I got a phone call that was for her, I turned to my left and said that I was putting a call through which she duly acknowledged, when she picked up I said in the killer from ‘Scream’ voice “HELLO ABBIE, DO YOU LIKE SCARY MOVIES!?”….

She screamed. Loudly. Then cried. A lot.

The female power-dressing megalomaniac office manger fixed me with a cold stare. Nothing was said but the experiment was over. I was super nice to Abbie after that and reduced her coffee intake back to normal “Granny” strength. I’m sure drugging colleagues with coffee is a sackable offence, it should be.

Heh…when I read these things at work, there’s some serious office LOLing going on…

Sunny weather = excellent!

Had my trip to Sweden – great place very friendly people (and incredibly sexy women), great food…only downside is the expensive beer.

But the women, oh my…

Too hot to type much else…maybe add to it later.

EDIT: OH yeah, forgot this:

It seems that when I’m abroad, I tend to blend in with the people – in Spain, people talk to me in Spanish thinking I’m Spanish, in France they speak to me in French. Now it seems all Swedes are very fit, healthy looking specimens, so I was somewhat bemused when people spoke to me in Swedish (hotel receptionist, airport staff), then came out with “Sorry – but you look Swedish.”

Heh – I’m actually proud to be NOT recognised as a Brit when abroad…

A great weekend…

Kathy came down Friday (her birthday), so it saved me doing the 1.5 hour drive each way…

And so – took her for a meal Friday night – was very nice . I even took her shopping in Cambridge on Saturday, AND Inever complained once (heh – earnt myself mucho brownie points there let me tell you…)

Another meal and a few drinks Saturday night, and onto Sunday…

Decided to goto the Royal Oak in Hail Weston for dinner – as Ewa (my lodger) was around, I asked if she wanted to come too. So off we all went.

Lovely meal (as always), couple of beers sat out in the garden – excellent way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

Within an hour of getting back home, I got a text from Harriett – she used to live in Hail Weston, and her mum still does. Anyhoo, her mum had popped round to Harriett’s to tell her that I’d been seen in the pub with TWO women…and neither of them were Harriett! Shock! Horror! other exclamationed (is that a real word?) remarks!

And now it’s Monday…but at least I’m in work…

Off to Sweden tomorrow with a night stopover there too – the U21 Championship final (England v Germany) is tonight though – bollocks.